Kehlani shared her Playboy cover this morning and it is nothing short of perfection! Never one to be put in a box, Kehlani is pushing boundaries and showing what gender fluidity can look like on the second-ever digital cover for the iconic magazine.
Fans were first introduced to the Oakland native on American’s Got Talent a decade ago in 2011. It was Piers Morgan who told her she’d be better off going solo, and ten years later she’s gracing the cover of Playboy with not only one, but two photos of herself. The cover, shot by Brianna Alysse, features both a masculine and feminine version of the twenty-five-year-old singer, a major moment for the queer community and an even bigger one for queer moms.
Kehlani gave birth to daughter Adeya Nomi in 2019, choosing to co-parent with guitarist Javie Young-White. Being open about her sexuality as well as her decision to co-parent is one of the main reasons fans love and always expect raw honesty from the talented songstress. As I write this, listening to SweetSexySavage, my favorite Kehlani album, I’m overwhelmed with emotions of pride and love, “in my feelings” one could say, as I think about how far the once-homeless powerhouse has come.
It’s apparent to many that the Grammy-nominated mom isn’t slowing down any time soon and when you are truly grounded, anything is possible. In Playboy, the singer opens up about what’s next for her music, fluidity, and why being a mom made her feel sexy.
On moms being sex symbols
I hope people know being a mom doesn’t make you less sexy. Being a mom is the sexiest thing ever. I think something happened to me when I became a mom; I just became sexier. I was this quirky little person before—not super in touch with myself, a super tomboy. Then I became a mom, and all of a sudden I got these mom hips. I got this mom sensuality and grown-woman attitude and in-touch-ness with my body that I never had before. You really fucking get to know your body when you birth. When you get pregnant, you become a fucking universe and a portal. So I think motherhood has made me this insane sex symbol even to myself.
On what femininity and masculinity mean to her
I’ve discovered that I’ve run from a lot of femininity. I was way more comfortable in a more masculine space. I feel more masculine when I am in my stillness and I’m grounded in a quiet, contemplative mode. I feel most feminine when I’m being the mother of my house. I also feel my femininity when I take time for self-care—when I take really beautiful baths where I throw some flowers in and I do a hair mask and take time oiling my body in the mirror and saying how beautiful I feel. My femininity makes me feel soft and gentle and tender and careful in a different way than my masculinity makes me feel. I’m trying not to let it fall into the gender norms of feminine and masculine, but for me it does a tiny bit. But I also am very fluid in both of those settings.
On managing the pressures to create music
“If I’m not at the studio, I’m home, completely focused on my baby. Then she comes with me to the studio. I don’t feel outside pressure to create and release; I just love creating and releasing.”
On what’s next for Kehlani
I’ve always got something up my sleeve. I have taken this opportunity during quarantine to go extremely inward, cracking down on my spiritual journey and spiritual self and enforcing boundaries I never had. I have a therapist, finally, who I absolutely love, and I have a routine of getting up and praying. I’m in this consistent, deep connection inwardly that I don’t feel like I’ve ever had. I thought I had it. When you’re a spiritual person and you finally find the real deep route to commit to, you always end up being like, “Oh, I really thought I was doing the work before.” Now that I’m really doing the work, I’m like, “Oh, man, I was just carrying a bunch of crystals in my pockets.” The new music I’ve been making is just a reflection of a healthy self, healthy love for the self, healthy love with spirit, healthy love—healthy everything around me. [The music] sounds really refreshing. It feels really refreshing. It feels grown.
On what true joy means
Joy feels like when you know there’s absolutely nothing you would change about a moment and there’s nothing you could change to make you any more joyous. Like, “Even the way the sun is coming through the window while I’m making breakfast, and the way my daughter is stomping around the kitchen cracking up, and this song that’s playing is perfect and she’s singing along, and my puppy is sunbathing and the plants in the kitchen just got watered so they’re flourishing.” Every single moment of the day is just perfect.
On her skills in the kitchen
Right now, I’ve been on such a soup kick. I’ve been trying to be on this no-waste kick. I feel like as passionate as I am about the world and people, it’s very hypocritical of me to be a wasteful person while caring this much. I live with a couple people, so we run through things pretty fast. But there always seems to be that time every two weeks when things are about to go bad and we have to cook them. My favorite thing to do is just throw everything—all the vegetables—in a pot with some fucking vegetable broth and whatever spices are calling out to me and make a yummy-ass vegetable soup. It’s the best way to eliminate having a big-ass throw-away vegetable pile at the end of the week.
On how her childhood impacts her as a mother
Having my child surrounded by me and her dad, but also so much love from other people, is super important, because I always had family around. My aunt raised me, but I also had my cousins and my other aunties and two dogs. They tried to make sure I got lots of social engagement from my family that made me feel full all the time. There was always music playing in the house. At night, when any of us couldn’t sleep, we would go take a drive around the lake in Oakland and go see the lights. Or simple things like waking up on Sunday morning and having cartoons and art projects. My aunt was really awesome and super, super, super fun. I’m carrying that into parenthood, knowing that kids don’t need perfect parents—they need happy parents. The things we carry with us as adults are memories of joy, so I consciously create joyful moments in the house for her to carry throughout her life.
On the struggles of feeling trapped in an abusive relationship.
Personally, the most trapped I’ve ever felt was probably the cycle of abuse in [a past] relationship. Just feeling like, “I know better, so why can’t I do better?” It’s this weird, rabbit-hole cycle of, like, “Am I being stupid?” But also, “How do I change things? Can I even change it? Do I have the strength to change this? What do I do?” That’s psychologically the cycle of abuse. Once you’re out of it or when you’re looking from the outside, it seems like it’s so simple to get up and leave. But when you’re in it, it’s a whole other experience.
On feeling sexy
I feel the sexiest when I’m really bare—when I’m taking extra time to oil up after my bath and put essential oils into my shea butter. For me, sexy is very internal. It’s in the comfort and the feeling—not when do I look most sexy, but when do I feel scrumptious? When do I feel like, “Oh, somebody could just come lick me from my head to my toe right now. That’s how fucking good I smell, and that’s how moisturized I am.” That’s when I feel sexy.
Read more of Kehlani’s Playboy interview, written by Gerrick D. Kennedy, here.